Humour - Bumper Stikers
The sex was so good that even
the neighbors had a cigarette.
I don't suffer from insanity,
I enjoy every minute of it.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
Some people are alive only because
it's illegal to kill them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously,
you won't get out alive.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
I got a gun for my wife,
best trade I ever made.
So you're a feminist...
Isn't that cute!
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
I'm not a complete idiot,
some parts are missing.
My kid had sex with your honor student.
Earth first...
we'll strip-mine the other planets later!
How can I be overdrawn, I still have checks!
Jesus loves you...
everyone else thinks your an asshole.
I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
Jesus paid for our sins...
now lets get our money's worth.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
As long as there are tests,
there will be prayer in public schools.
I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy;
other times I let her sleep.
God must love stupid people,
he made so many.
I said "no" to drugs,
but they just wouldn't listen.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Change is inevitable,
except from a vending machine.
It IS as BAD as you think,
and they ARE out to get you.
Smile, it's the second best thing
you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
I know what you're thinking,
and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Elvis is dead,
and I'm not feeling too good myself.
We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.
A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Always remember you're unique,
just like everyone else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at maths.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Be nice to your kids.
They'll choose your nursing home.
3 kinds of people:
those who can count & those who can't.
Ever stop to think,
and forget to start again?
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'...
till you can find a rock.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.