Humour - Jokes
Little Johnny
The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children for their examples of words with more than one syllable. Jane and Little Johnny were the first to raise their hands. Knowing that little Johnny was a little more mature in the ways of life, she called on Jane. "Jane, what is your multi-syllable word?" After some further thought Jane proudly replied, "Monday." "Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day" "Does anyone else know any other multi-syllable words." "I do! I do!" replied Little Johnny. Knowing Johnny's mischievous ways the teacher picks Mike instead. "OK Mike, what is your word." "Saturday." says Mike. "Great, that has three syllables..." Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!" Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "O.K. Johnny what is your four syllable word?" Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion." Shocked and trying to retain her composure the teacher says, "Wow Johnny, Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."
"No Ma'am, your thinking 'Blow-Job', and that's only two syllables."
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Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. "Did you get that for your birthday?" he asked. "Nope," Jimmy replied. "Well, did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. "Nope." "You didn't steal it did you?" "No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mum and Dad's bedroom the other night when they were on the job. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me." Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself. That night he waited outside his parents' room until he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking. Johnny swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and asked him angrily, "What do you want now?" "I wanna watch," Johnny replied. "Well, stand in the corner and keep quiet then," said his father
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During the Religious Education class, Sister Mary asked the 4 th Graders. "All right class, what part of your body do you think goes to heaven first? Little Johnny is the 1st one with his hand up! " Doris ", says Sister Mary,"why don't you tell us what YOU think is the first part of your body that goes to Heaven!" "Well Sister Mary, I think that it is your hands because when we pray-all hands are pointing to heaven" A very nice answer -Thank You Doris" says Sister Mary. "Who wants to go next?" says Sister Mary. Little ohnny has his hand up first again! Then Sister Mary says "Michael - tell the class what part of your body goes to Heaven first". "Sister Mary, I think that it is our eyes, when we pray we look at heaven - so it must be the eyes!" "That's another nice answer - thank you Michael" Sister Mary comments. "Okay children, we only have time for one more answer". By now Little Johnny is half standing up and waving his hand high in the air. "All right Johnny, why don't you tell us what body part you feel goes to Heaven first. "It's definately your feet Sister. There's no doubt about it!" "Your feet Johnny? I'm afraid that you are going to have to explain that one! remarks Sister Mary. "Well Sister, when I walked by my parent's bedroom, their door was open and I could see in the room real good. My Mother was laying on her back. Her feet were HIGH in the air. They were higher than her eyes and they were higher than her hands. And she was yelling "Lord I'm a 'comin!!!!! And she would have too, if my Dad wasn't holding her down!!!!!